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Alex, Get Serious.
Alan Iverson And 20 Points Could Not Help Your Team.
You Know, Julie, I Think We Looked Pretty Good At That Last Game.
Yeah, Too Bad The Other Team Showed Up.
You're The Only Team In History That Should Be Sued For Malpractice.
So We've Had A Bad Streak.
19 Games, To Be Exact.
Well, Today We'll Turn It Around.
Against The Warriors?
Yeah. Right. They're Undefeated.
Tyler Will Be Scraping You Off The Bottom Of His Sneakers.
So, Hey, Julie, Are We Gonna Shoot Hoops After School?
Are You Kidding?
I'm Gonna Kick Your Butt.
Hasta Luego.
So Long.
Boy: Yo, Joker! T.J.!
Second Boy: Stick, What's Up, Man?
Alex: Hey! What's Up, Guys?
Third Boy: What's Up, Ben?
Hey, Joker's Got The Answer To Our Basketball Problems.
Yeah?
Yeah.
My Dad's Doing Some Research On Cloning.
If We Get Him To Clone You, You Could Pass For Yourself.
You Know What? That's Hilarious.
[Bell Rings]
Boy: 2 Alexes? That's Not Hilarious. That's Frightening.
Of Course, You Might Need Those 2 Bodies
When Mrs. Klein Catches You.
Mr. Schlotsky.
[Bell Rings]
Oh! Oh! Just Give It To Me.
Whoa!
When We Celebrate Hanukkah,
We Are Really Celebrating The Story Of Judah And The Maccabees,
A Story That Began Over 2,000 Years Ago
During One Of The Earth's Darkest Hours.
The Cruel King Antiochus Had Conquered The World,
And Decreed That All People In Every Land
Should Pay Tribute To His Pagan Gods.
He Sent Merciless Armies To Enforce His Decree
And To Slaughter All Who Disobeyed.
Antiochus Succeeded Everywhere Except In One Corner Of The Empire...
In A Land Called Israel.
[Wind Blowing]
[Person Screams In Distance]
Teacher: Though The People Stubbornly Resisted,
They Were No Match For Antiochus' Army,
And In The Face Of Certain Doom,
The People Of Israel Desperately Needed A Great Leader.
[Horn Blowing]
[People Cheering]
Crowd: Victory, Victory, Big Score Now!
V-I-C-T-O-R-Y! Victory!
Crowd: V-I-C-T-O-R-Y!
Victory, Victory, Me Oh My!
V-I-C-T-O-R-Y!
[Cheering]
Give It Up Now, Schlots.
Maybe I'll Show You Some Mercy.
In Your Dreams, Tyler.
[Cheering]
[Whistle Blows]
[Coach And Players Yelling]
[Crowd Cheering]
That's It, Tyler! Shoot! Shoot! Shoot!
Yes! That's It!
All Right, Now, Straighten Them Out!
[Players And Crowd Cheering And Shouting
Man: Ok, Let's Keep It Up!
Coach Simowitz.
Huh?
A Little--A Little Coaching, Or Some Help, Maybe?
Oh, Of Course. Absolutely. Of Course.
I Can Do That.
♪ We Are The Lions ♪
♪ The Mighty, Mighty Lions ♪
Yes, Warriors! Whoo!
♪ The Mighty, Mighty Lions ♪
Shoot! Shoot! Shoot! Yes!
Score!
Must Be Getting Ugly.
Coach Larry Has Already Launched Into His Victory Dance.
It Started Ugly. It's Approaching Hideous.
Come On, Schlots!
[Shouting Continues]
Pass The Ball!
Player: I'm Open!
Pass It!
[Shouting Continues]
[Whistle Blows]
Hey, Ref!
Referee: Got A Technical Foul, Number 5 Blue.
Player: It's Not Worth It.
Watch Your Temper, T.J.
Watch The Game, Ref! He Was Charging.
Or Haven't You Read The Rule Book Yet?
[Whistle Blows]
That's It. You're Out Of Here.
T.J.: Gee, Thanks For The Favor.
Player: Don't Sweat It, Teej.
Hey, Schlots...
How Does It Feel To Be On The Worst Team
In The Entire History Of Basketball?
Lay Off Him, Tyler. It's Just A Game.
Sounds More Like A Massacre.
But If You Think This Is Bad,
Wait Till You See What We're Gonna Do To You In The Tourney. Yeah!
[Whistle Blows]
32, This Way.
[Crowd Cheering]
Player: Come On!
I'm Getting A New Hard Drive For Hanukkah.
200 Gigs Of Memory.
That's Enough To Download The Entire Library Of Congress.
T.J.'S The One Who's Got It Made.
Christmas And Hanukkah?
Half Jewish, Half Christian
Equals Total Holiday Score.
What About You, Stick?
You Guys, Man.
What?
Hanukkah Should Be About The Maccabees
And The Miracle Of Light That Followed Their Victory.
I'll Take Presents Over Some Old Fairy Tale.
The Miracle Of Light, My Friend, Is No Fairy Tale.
Ok, One Day's Worth Of Oil Just Magically Burning For 8?
I Mean, Come On, Man, These Things Just Don't Happen.
But That's Why They Call It A Miracle.
What About You, Schlots? What Are You Asking For Hanukkah?
Besides The Word "Pass" Being Removed From The English Language.
Hey, I Would Pass
If The Definition Of "Pass" On This Team
Wasn't Turnover. We Stink.
The Only Way We Know How To Score
Is On The P.S.A.T.S.
1470.
1520.
1600.
In My Sleep.
1540, Ok?
Now Can We Please Stop Talking About The P.S.A.T.S?
Every Year, We Get Humiliated
In The Liberty Tournament.
Well, This Year, The Tourney Is In Our Home Gym.
And I Don't Want To Stink. For Once, I Want To Win.
[Laughter]
Alex: Losing Is Bad Enough, Dad,
But The Other Guys Don't Even Care.
Do You Know We've Lost 20 Straight?
I'm Not Sure. Can You Hum A Few Bars?
Ba-Dum-Pah!
That Joke Is So Old.
Hello, Doctor. Not Old.
Well Seasoned.
What's Old Is Losing.
We Hold An All-Time League Record For Games Lost.
I Know It's Tough, But Hey, It's Not The End Of The World.
Mom, The Liberty Tournament
Is The Most Important Even Of My Life.
It's Huge.
Really? As Huge As, For Instance, Law? Medicine?
Education? Remember When You Wanted To Be A Superhero?
Or The Time You Tried To Make Rocket Fuel
So You Could Blow Yourself To The Moon?
What?
I Think What Your Mom's Saying Is That As We Get Older,
Our Dreams Can Change.
Well...
Basketball Is My Dream.
That Results In What, Dear? The Nba?
Maybe.
How Many Players Are There In The Nba?
348.
So With 125 Million Adult Males In This Country,
That Means Your Odds Of Making It Are About
One In 350,000.
[Pager Beeping]
Ugh. Gotta Run To The Hospital.
Look, Alex...
I'm Not Trying To Dump On Your Dreams.
I'm Just Trying To Help You Keep Things In Perspective.
We'll Talk About That Rocket Fuel Thing Later.
Hey...You All Right?
[Sighing] Yeah, Sure.
I Mean, What Does Mom Know About Basketball?
Yeah. Nice.
You Know, The Nba Takes Players From All Over The World,
So Actually, Your Chances Are Much Worse.
Thanks. Now I'm Really Cheered Up.
Alex, She Means Well, Ok? But For Your Mother,
Being A Doctor Is The Most Exciting Thing
A Person Could Ever Do With Her Life.
As Exciting As Hitting A 3-Pointer Right At The Buzzer?
Ok, How About A Little One-On-One?
For The Last Piece Of My Double Fudge Cake?
Show Me Your Moves, Old Man.
Well Seasoned.
Whoa!
Oh!
[Alarm Sounding]
[Laughs]
I'd Like To See You Do That.
Rabbi Lewis...
He Bum Fakes...
Spins By Shaq...
Running Rabbi, He Double Clutches,
Elevates For The Jump-Up...
He Shoots...
Scores!
Wah! Ah!
From Downtown.
Hi, Alex...
Uh, Come In, Come In, Come In.
Uh, Something On Your Mind?
Besides The Yarmulke?
Heh.
Well...
You Said In Class That When The People Of Israel Were Up Against The Ropes,
Judah Maccabee Led Them To Victory.
Oh, So You Were Listening.
Our Team Needs A Judah Maccabee.
Is That So?
Mr. Simowitz Has Never Played Basketball.
I Don't Think He's Ever Worn A Pair Of Shorts.
Can You Hire Us A Real Coach?
Uh, Well, Your Mother Chairs Our Board Of Directors.
Have You Discussed This With Her?
[Sighs] She's Not Much Of A Basketball Fan.
Heh Heh Heh.
It's Hopeless. We're Hopeless.
With The Blessed One, Nothing Is Ever Hopeless.
So You'll Get Us A Coach?
No.
But You Said--
Judah.
Judah Will Get Us A Coach?
You Said Your Team Needs A Judah Maccabee.
Right. So, When Is This Supposed To Happen?
When Or Where Is Not The Question.
The Question Is, Will You Recognize This Judah When You See Him?
What Do You Think The Rabbi Meant?
How Should I Know?
He Meant That If You Don't Want To Flunk,
You Should Be Studying Your Biology.
Come On, Stick.
Maybe The Rabbi Meant,
When You're Really Up Against It, God Gives You What You Need.
You Know, Like Sending An Angel To Watch Over You.
Right Now, The Lions Need A Coach,
Not Some Lousy Angel.
Think He Can Jam?
Whoa.
Wait. Where You Going?
Alex...
Mind If I Rebound For You?
What's He Doing?
Being A Schlots.
You Got Serious Game. Where Do You Play?
Don't.
Ok, Uh, Where Did You Play?
Must've Been Somewhere.
My Name's Alex Schlotsky.
My Friends Call Me Schlots.
What's Yours?
None Of Your Business.
Give Me The Ball, Kid.
Tell Me Your Name, I'll Give You The Ball.
All Right. We'll Have A Shoot-Out.
Anything But Dunks, Ok?
If I Miss First, I'll Leave You Alone,
But If You Miss First, You Gotta Tell Me Your Name.
How About You Don't Give Me The Ball,
And I Stuff You Through That Hoop Sideways?
Well, That Worked. Except For The Stuffing You
Through The Hoop Sideways Part.
Hey, Come On!
I'm Only 14. How Hard Can It Be?
Well, Guess You'll Never Know His Name.
Virginia. Jm 165.
Stick: Jm 165?
His License Plate. It's A Specialty Plate.
University Of Virginia Boosters.
So, We'll Check Men's Basketball Rosters.
There He Is.
Lamont Carr.
Point Guard For The Virginia Cavaliers.
So, How Come You Only Get Bs In School?
It's A Matter Of Passion, Mr. Stick.
Look At His Stats, Man.
You Thinking What I'm Thinking?
Uh-Huh. That Lamont Carr Is--
Is Judah Maccabee.
Yeah.
Wait. No. Man. What Are You Talking About?
Lamont's Nickname Was "The Hammer."
So Was Judah Maccabee's.
It's For His Killer Dunks.
Judah Could Dunk?
Lamont, Idiot.
And This About The License Plate.
Jm 165. Jm--Judah's Initials.
And 165--The Year The Maccabees Drove Out The Invaders
And Reclaimed The Temple.
Well, You're Forgetting One Little Thing.
Judah's Been Dead Almost 2,000 Years.
2,160.
Well, Judah Maccabee Or Not,
I Think We Might Have Our Angel.
Hey, Guys, Hitting The Books?
Hi, Mom.
I Made You Some Cookies.
[Alex And Stick Stammer]
We're--
I Can't--
After Supper.
Got It. Men At Work.
I'll Just Leave Them Here, In Case You Change Your Mind.
Last Time I Tried To Eat One Of Your Mom's Cookies,
I Chipped A Tooth.
I Heard That, Goldstein.
I Got A Violin Lesson.
And I Gotta Study For An Algebra Quiz, And So Do You.
Look, It'll Only Take Half An Hour.
Forget It.
Look, If You Guys Don't Want To See The Ghost Of Judah Maccabee,
Suit Yourselves.
Ghost?
What Are You Talking About?
Come With Me And Stick If You Want To Find Out.
All Right. That's Enough. You Boys Get Any Louder,
You'll Raise The Dead.
Alex And Stick Already Have, Mrs. Klein.
They Just Saw The Ghost Of Judah Maccabee.
I'm Surprised Mr. Schlotsky Would Recognize Anybody
Who Wasn't A Basketball Player.
Actually, He W--Ohh!
It Was Just A Figment Of Our Overactive Imagination.
Brought On By Too Much Sugar And Video Games.
Right, Stick?
Of Course.
Let's, Uh, Let's Go. No More Sugar For You, Big Guy.
T.J.: There Is No Way That Is Judah Maccabee.
I Mean, It Doesn't Even Look Like Him.
You Know What Judah Maccabee Looks Like?
Well, I'm Pretty Sure He Wasn't 6'5", African-American.
Joker: Oh, I Know. Why Don't We Ask Him?
Excuse Me, Tall Guy,
You Wouldn't Happen To Be A Jewish Military Hero
Who, Uh, Started Hanukkah
And Has Been Dead Over 2,000 Years?
Look, All That Matters Is That When We Needed A Coach,
This Really Amazing Player Shows Up At Our Very Park.
What Are The Odds?
I'm Gonna Go Talk To Him, Ok?
You Guys Start Playing And Try To Look...
Not Terrible.
Hey, It's Me Again.
Yo, Splot.
Schlots.
That's My Team Practicing Over There.
T.J., Joker, Stick, And Big Ben.
My Sympathies.
You Know, We Haven't Won A Game In 2 Years.
Really? Only 2 Years?
Well, We Got This Big Tournament Coming Up.
Less Than A Month.
You Think You Can Help Us Win?
Hey, Man, We're Not That Bad.
Ok, We're That Bad, But That's Why We Need You.
I Mean, Don't You Believe In Helping The Less Fortunate?
Best Help I Can Give Your Team--
Find Them A Different Hobby.
Look, You Don't Have To Come To Any Of Our Games,
Just, You Know, Coach Us Here.
Look, Kid, Even If I Wanted To, I Just--
Don't Have The Time.
I Say You Do.
Pardon Me?
I Checked You Out On The Web.
You What?
Your Name's Lamont Carr.
You Played For The University Of Virginia.
After Playing For The Cavaliers,
You Went To The Continental Basketball Association,
Where You Played For 5 Years.
Till You Wrecked Your Knee And Had To Have 3 Surgeries.
Knee's Better, Ok?
And I'm Here Waiting For A Tryout With The Sixers.
Not Baby-Sit A Bunch Of Kids.
Look, We Need A Coach, Not A Baby-Sitter.
You're Just Waiting. You Got Time To Help Us Out.
You Know, You're Wasting Your Time On Basketball.
You Should Be A Lawyer.
So, You'll Do It?
No.
I'm A Player.
Coach Is For Has-Beens And Wannabes.
We Can Pay You.
How Much?
Only 20?
And 20 More After.
You Bought Yourself An Hour, Not A Second More.
Tomorrow At 4:00.
Where's Dad?
He Had To Leave Early. He's Showing The Bender Condo.
Again.
So...
You're Cooking?
Yeah.
I Wanted To Do Something Special For You.
I Know How Much You Like Waffles.
Is This Because I Did Something Bad?
Kidding. You Want Something From Me?
Can't I Just Treat You 'Cause You're My Son,
And I Love You?
[Sighs] All Right.
There's This Program At The Hospital.
Students Shadow Doctors Around For A Week,
See How They Like The Profession.
If You're Interested, I Can Speak To One Of My Colleagues.
Ohh.
There.
[Clicks Tongue]
[Clatters On Plate]
Ok, Here's The Deal:
You Promise To Think It Over,
I'll Let You Cook Your Own Breakfast.
Deal.
Yummy.
He's Not Coming.
Since He's A Ghost, Maybe He's Already Here,
And We Just Can't See Him. [Humming X-Files Theme]
[Blows Whistle]
Hey, Lamont, You Made It.
Yeah, Judah.
Judah?
It's What We Jewish People Call Our Great Athletes.
You Know, In Case We Ever Have One.
Why You Guys Smiling?
Never Seen Guys Smile Before They Ran 17-55s.
What Are 17-55s?
It's A Set Of 17 Wind Sprints From Sideline To Sideline.
Unless Everyone Finishes In 55 Seconds,
You Run Another Set.
[Blows Whistle]
For This, We're Paying?
[Blows Whistle]
Faster. Faster.
[Blows Whistle]
A Minute And 30?
Come On, Guys, Run It Again.
[Blows Whistle]
What Kind Of Practice Is This? Practice To Have A Heart Attack?
Pick It Up. Pick It Up. Pick It Up.
[Blows Whistle]
All: Ball!
That Was Terrible. 17-55S!
All Right.
That's All For Today, Guys.
What Did We Ever Do To Make You Hate Us?
I'm Not Here To Like You.
I'm Here To Make A Bad Team Into A Better One.
The Quickest Way I Know How To Do That Is Through Conditioning.
Schlots.
Next Time, You Pay Me Before Practice.
See You Tomorrow.
This Is Ridiculous.
I'll Show You Guys Once And For All This Guy Isn't Judah Maccabee.
Judah Had 4 Brothers And A Dad Named Matthias, Right?
My Bad Boys Ready To Rumble?
Yeah, In A Sec. First, Though, We Have A Couple Of Questions,
Like, What's Your Dad's Name?
Mr. Carr To You. What's This About?
Well, If You're Gonna Be Our Coach,
Don't We Have The Right To Know Something About You?
Ok. They Called Him Skip.
Ha Ha!
But His Real Name Was Matthew.
Close Enough.
How Many Brothers Do You Have?
3. There Was A Fourth.
Policeman, D.C., But He Was Killed 10 Years Ago.
Ok, Then.
You Know, I'm Sorry About Your Brother, Man.
Here's An Extra 10
If I Never Have To Hear 17-55 Again.
Thanks For Reminding Me.
Yo! 17-55!
Come On. Do It. No, No.
From End To End.
Hey, Schlots, Who's Chasing You? We're Over Here.
Good One, Tyler.
See You In The Tourney. First Round, Anyway.
[Blows Whistle]
Schlots, Did I Tell You To Stop?
Let's Get Out Of Here.
Come On.
[Blows Whistle]
[Honks Horn]
We Can't Afford To Keep Paying Him.
My Parents Are Starting To Ask Me Questions.
Mine Think I'm Spending It On Junk Food.
If Only It Were True.
Yeah, And What Good Is It Doing Us?
Come On. At Least Ben Can Make It Up And Down The Court.
Great. Now He's Lousy At Both Ends.
Why Can't We Just Ask Our Parents For The Money?
No Way. My Mom Can't Find Out About This. Got It?
Then You Come Up With The Cash. Got It?
Dr. J, Sorry, Man.
Sometimes You Gotta Take One For The Team.
[Car Horn Honks]
Mrs. Schlotsky: Hey, Alex, Come Down Here, Please.
Hey, Great News.
You Got A Slot In The Hospital Shadow Program.
What?
Yeah.
Starting Monday, After School,
You'll Be Following Dr. Grimwald Around.
Mom, I Can't. I've Got Basketball Practice.
Well, This Is A Rare Opportunity, Alex.
They May Not Do It Next Year.
Look, I'm Sorry, But I've Gotta Practice For The Tourney.
And I've Gotta Get You Ready For Life.
[Sighs]
Thanks, Mom. You're The Greatest.
Your Parents Will Freak.
They Gave You This Card For Your Bar Mitzvah.
What Is The Point Of Selling It To Pay For Lamont
When You're Not Even Gonna Be There?
This Way The Other Guys Can Still Practice.
Believe Me, They Need It If We're Gonna Win That Tournament.
I Can't Do It All On My Own.
Really? And When Did That Change?
Julie, All You Ever Talk About Is Basketball,
You Come To All My Games,
But You Still Don't Understand What The Games Mean To Me.
You Know What I Understand?
Getting To Go On Rounds With A Famous Doctor, That I Understand.
That's A Great Idea. You Take My Place.
What Would Your Mom Say?
Just Let Me Handle That, Ok?
Come On. With All The Suffering There Is In The World,
It'd Be Wrong If You Didn't Take My Place.
Lamont Was Right. You Should've Been A Lawyer.
You Got No Compression. Your Rings, Your Valves Are Shot.
Gotta Figure 300 To Get It Back On The Road.
500 If You Want It Done Right.
When You Decide, Give Me A Call.
Hey, Coach.
I Got Your Money.
Sorry, Schlots, Deal's Off.
What's Wrong?
I Just Can't Help You Anymore.
My Van Went Bust On Me. I Gotta Come Up With Some Serious Cash.
We'll Pay You Double.
No. No, No, I Can't Do That To You Guys.
Come On. You Need The Money,
And With Less Than 2 Weeks Till The Tourney,
We Definitely Need The Practice.
Here. I Can Give You The Rest Later.
I Appreciate This.
There's, Uh, There's Just One More Thing.
Why Am I Not Surprised?
Um, Well, You Know, You Love Basketball.
I Love Basketball.
But The Other Guys Are Starting To Hate It.
And If You Could Ease Up A Little--
I Mean, Not Much. We Definitely Still Want, You Know,
We Want To Win The Tourney,
But Try And Help Them Love The Game, Too.
Hey, Lamont.
My Dogs.
Ok, Now That Is It.
First You Try To Kill Us, Now You're Calling Us Names.
Chill. Chill.
Dogs Is An Expression Like...
My Brother, My Man.
It's Basketball Talk For Cool.
Oh.
So, Should We Start Running Till We Puke?
No. Today We Shoot.
Shoot?
Shoot.
He's Not A Ghost. He's A God.
Oh, Yeah.
Bingo.
Man, I Hate This Game!
You're Thinking Too Much.
You Gotta Get Your Head Out Of The Way Of Your Body.
Try It Again. This Time, Don't Think, Just Relax.
Shoot Now.
I Love This Game!
All Right, Dogs, That's All For Today.
Alex: So, Uh, How Are We Doing? Be Honest.
Well, I Would Have To Say You Guys Have, Um,
Potential.
Us?
A Bunch Of Jewish Kids Like Us Have Basketball Potential?
Don't Do That.
Don't Put Yourselves In A Box, Ever.
Look, If We're Gonna Do This Thing,
You've Gotta Start Believing In Yourselves.
You Said "We."
What?
You Said, "If We're Gonna Do This Thing."
Alex: There's No Other Way, T.J. If We Don't Get Lamont
The Money To Fix His Van, We Lose Him.
And If We Lose Lamont, We Lose The Tournament.
Yeah. We Are Gonna Win.
Just Get As Many Coffee Mugs As You Can.
[Door Opens And Closes] Mrs. Schlotsky: Alex? I'm Home.
Oh, Um, Call The Others
And, Uh, Remember, Don't Sleep In.
Hi.
Hey.
So...
How'd It Go?
Um, How Did What Go?
The Hospital.
Oh. That. Um.
It Went By So Fast, It Was Like I Was Hardly Even There.
See? I Knew You'd Like It If You Gave It A Try.
So, Did You, Like, Feel Good Karma?
Mojo, Mom. Nobody Under 50 Says Karma.
Ah. Mojo.
Good Night, Mom.
Book's Upside-Down, Dear.
Hey, Stick, How Much Money We Got So Far?
Still Short.
If Some People Would Do Less Eating And More Selling,
We'd Be Into Some Profit.
What?
Joker: Who's Next? Best Coffee In All Philly.
This Is Guaranteed To Put The Hip In Your Hop,
The Slip In Your Slide, The Boo In Your Boo-Tay.
Except Yours, Mrs. Klein.
I Mean--
Not That Your Hop Isn't Hip,
Or That There's No Boo In Your--
Alex.
Mr. Schlotsky.
Mr. Schlotsky, What Is Going On Here?
Where?
Oh. Well--
That's A Fundraiser.
For Some Unfortunate Kids Searching For...
Better Coordination And A Greater Sense Of Self-Esteem.
Right, Guys?
Have A Great Day.
[Boys Muttering]
Smile, Guys.
Joker: If She Buys That, I'll Eat My Yarmulke.
You're In A Good Mood.
Alex Is Finally Getting Excited About Becoming A Doctor.
I Feel Like I've Done Something Good.
Maybe Some Of Your Good Karma Will Help Me Sell The Bender Condo.
Mojo.
Say What?
Karma Is So Out, Dear. Mojo Is In.
I'm Impressed.
You Have To Stay On Top Of These Things If You Want To Be Hip.
You Know, I Can't Seem To Find The Espresso Machine.
Then I Guess You'll Have Nojo.
[Telephone Rings]
[Whispering] Very Good.
Hello?
Oh, Mrs. Klein.
Yeah, Alex Is On Rounds With Dr. Grimwald This Morning.
Interesting.
Aw, Come On, Move It Or Lose It.
I'm Thinking Lose It.
Dr. Schlotsky Would Like To Have A Word With You.
Am I In Trouble?
I Certainly Hope So.
Alex: I Was Just Doing What You Told Me To.
Rabbi Lewis: Odd. I Don't Recall Suggesting
That You Con Julie, Lie To Your Parents,
And Hustle Strangers For Money.
Well, Maybe Not Exactly.
Huh?
Ok, Maybe Not At All.
I Believe We Were Talking About Judah Maccabee.
Yeah. And If We Wanted To Win,
We Would Need A Great Leader Like Judah.
And Then Lamont Carr Shows Up At Our Very Park.
It Was Like It Was Meant To Be.
Now Mom Says We Can't Be Coached By Some Stranger Anymore.
Well, I Think Your Mother Has A Point.
Yeah, But Doesn't The Torah Say That
We Should Invite The Stranger In And Love Him As Ourselves,
Because We Were Once Strangers In The Land Of Egypt?
You're Absolutely Right. That's Thinking.
Yes.
And That's Why I'm Going To Invite Mr. Carr
To Join You And Your Family At My House For Shabbas Dinner.
[Praying In Hebrew]
Rabbi Lewis: Go Ahead. No, Eat, Eat.
Sarah Makes The Best Gefilte Fish.
Here. Try It With The Horseradish.
Horseradish? On Fish?
Yeah.
Uh, Salt And Pepper, Please.
Outstanding, Mrs. Lewis.
Sarah, Please. We're Not That Formal.
Try My Chopped Liver, Mr. Carr.
Lamont. And I Think I Will.
Here You Go.
Now, If I Could Only Bother You For A Glass Of Milk, I Would--
Appreciate It.
Um, We Don't Eat Dairy After Meat.
Right.
It's The Whole Kosher Thing. Never Did Understand That.
It's One Of Our Laws Called Chukkim.
For Which, In Modern Times, There's No Explanation.
At Least, Not One That Could Be Understood By Human Logic.
I Guess It's Like My Mama Used To Say,
If You Understood Everything God Did, You'd Be God.
I Like That.
So, What Was Your Major At Virginia?
Exercise Physiology.
Alex Says You're A Natural Coach.
I Mean, The Team Is On Fire.
Yeah. Way Better Since Lamont Started Coaching Us.
Of Course, They Started So Bad,
They Only Had One Direction To Go, Which Is Up.
Whether Or Not Mr. Carr Is Qualified To Coach Is Not The Issue.
Parents Are Concerned That A Total Stranger
Is Tutoring Their Children At A Public Playground.
I Can Show Him Around. I'll Introduce Him To All The Parents.
The Point Is, Alex, School Activities
Should Not Take Place Out On The Street.
Your Mother's Right, Alex.
She's Absolutely Right.
And That's Why I Propose
That You Do Your Coaching At The Gym In The Yeshiva.
Um...
You Do Know I'm Not Jewish?
I Had Suspected That, Yes.
But I Do Remember The Commercial For Feldman's Family Grocer.
♪ So Come On Over ♪
♪ Even If You're Not Kosher ♪
♪ So Come O-- ♪
Loved Feldman's.
Hated The Commercial.
Still, It Made A Good Point, Huh?
Perhaps You Also Don't Have To Be Jewish
To Teach At A Hebrew School.
This Is Such A Great Opportunity.
Did You Know The Nba Was Started By Mostly Jewish Teams?
Yes. Basketball Association Of America.
We Had The Original Knicks...
The Philadelphia Hebrew All-Stars.
They Were Good. That Was A Team.
The Ball Practically Never Touched The Ground.
It Was Pass, Pass, Pass--
Marshall.
It Was Like A Ballet,
With The Pass, Pass--
Marshall.
I Don't Think That We Want To Pressure Mr. Carr.
Oh, It's No Pressure. I'm Not Pressuring.
Good.
I'm Not Pressuring.
Don't To It, Then.
I'm Sorry To Interrupt,
But I'm Gonna Have To Turn Down Your Offer.
I'm Not In Philly Looking For A Coaching Job.
I'm Hoping To Get Picked Up By The Sixers.
Aha. No, No, There's A Solution.
We Keep This Temporary, On A Day-To-Day Basis.
Certainly, No One Can Have Any Objections To That.
Mrs. Schlotsky: I Can't Believe You Agree With The Rabbi.
So Lamont Moves Practice From The Park To School. What's The Harm?
The Harm Is Alex Won't Concentrate On School.
His Studies'll Go Out The Window.
He'll Have Great Ball-Bouncing Skills
And No Chance At A Good University.
By The Time He Figures Out What He Really Wants To Do With His Life,
It'll Be Too Late.
When Did You Know You Wanted To Be A Doctor?
When I Was 10.
And Your Dream Came True.
Why Don't You Want The Same Thing For Alex?
It's Not The Same Thing, Marshall.
Alex Is Never Gonna Be A Professional Basketball Player, And You Know It.
No. I Don't Know It.
I Suspect It, But I Don't Know It.
I Think We Should Give The Rabbi's Plan A Chance.
Hey.
Who's That?
I Feel Like A Gefilte Fish Out Of Water.
Relax, Man. Everybody's Gonna Love You Here.
Students Who Bounce A Basketball In The Hall
Get It Confiscated, Mr. Carr.
I Expect No Less Of You.
Yes, Ma'am.
Everybody's Gonna Love Me, Huh?
Oh, Ho Ho. Bless You.
Bless You.
You Da Mensch.
The What? Who Was That?
That Was Mr. Simowitz.
Thanks To You, He Doesn't Have To Coach Us Anymore.
Well, He Looks A Little Too Happy.
[Whistle Blows]
There You Go, T.J. Swing It Back. Bring It Back Out.
There You Go.
Set The Pick. Go Left.
Dish Off, Schlots, You're The Rock.
Yeah.
[Blows Whistle]
Schlots, You Have 4 Other People On Your Team.
Why Are You The Only One Shooting?
Pass The Ball. Or Do You Know How To Pass?
Sorry, Coach.
Sorry?
Let's Run It Again. Come On. Let's Go.
Alex: All Right, Here We Go.
[Whistle Blows]
Come On, I Want You To Swing The Ball.
[Blows Whistle] Inbound The Ball. There You Go.
Run Down, Stick. Now, Go, Go, Go, Go.
Set Up The Offense. Set Up The Offense. There You Go.
Pass. Pass It.
There You Go. There You Go, T.J.
There You Go. Pass It In, Pass It In.
Give It To Schlots. There You Go.
Hold It Up.
Remarkable.
There You Go.
Remarkable Improvement.
Might Not Recognize Which Sport They're Playing.
Long Way To Go Yet.
Ben, Call For The Ball. Get More Active.
All Right, All Right.
They Still Don't Believe.
You Gotta Believe If You're Gonna Win.
Drive Left.
I'm Sorry?
The Ancient Maccabees Were Hopelessly Outnumbered.
A Massive Enemy Army Against Them,
So They Had To Devise A Strategy To Exploit The Enemy's Weakness.
So They Retreated Right Into The Hills Of Judea,
They Carved Tunnels Into The Rock,
But They Made All The Turns To The Right.
So, When The Enemy Came In After Them...
The Enemy Had To Attack With Their Left Hand, His Weakness.
Leaving The Homeboys To Defend With Their Right Hand.
You'd Make A Good Rabbinical Student.
And You'd Make A Good Assistant Coach.
[Whistle Blows]
Hold The Ball, Hold The Ball. Listen Up, Guys.
We're Going To Talk About A Winning Team Called The Maccabees,
Who Turned Their Defense Into Offense.
And We're Going To Do The Same Thing.
It's Called A Full-Court Press.
All Right, My Dogs.
That Was A Great Shot.
You Got To Ask Yourself, Alex,
If You Were A Ghost, Where Would You Go At Night?
[Car Horn Honking]
It's My Mom. Anyone Need A Ride?
Yeah. T.J.
T.J.?
Thanks, Bro.
Alex, Come On, Man!
What's Alex Doing?
What Is He Doing?
Being Schlots.
Hey, Watch It!
Well, Congratulations.
Now You Know I Live In My Van.
Uh, You Don't Have Any Family Or Anything?
You Know, Schlots, Sometimes People Need Their Space.
Uh, People, Maybe. What About Ghosts?
Ghosts?
Well, Yeah. Some Of The Guys On The Team--
Not Me--Think That You're The Ghost Of Judah Maccabee.
Why Is That?
Um, Same Nickname,
Same Number Of Brothers, Stuff Like That.
Well, I've Never Heard Of A Ghost With Bad Knees. Have You?
I Never Thought You Were.
Uh...I'm Going To Leave Now.
Schlots...
Since You're Already Down In The Hood,
How About Staying For Dinner?
So, What Was Your Average?
27 Points, 10 Rebounds, 10 Assists.
That's Amazing!
That Was Only In C.B.A.
Those Are Solid Stats Anywhere.
I Mean, I Would Give Anything To Do What You're Doing.
What? Live In A Grungy Van?
No, Man. You Know, Following Your Dreams.
Doing What You Love.
You Want To Know What I Love?
That's Charmaine, My High School Sweetheart.
The Little Guy There, That's Trey.
Already Got A Great Hook Shot.
Where Are They?
Back In Virginia.
I Bet You Miss Them.
Every Day.
Chase Big Dreams, You Got To Make Big Sacrifices.
Hey, Alex, Maybe You Shouldn't Tell Anybody About Where I Live.
I Know You're Cool With It, But...
Just Not Sure About Mrs. Klein, You Know?
Yeah. As Long As You Don't Tell The Guys
About Me Coming To Check If You Were A Ghost.
Hey, I'm Not Doing So Good As Lamont Carr.
Maybe Being This Judah Guy Will Give Us All Some Luck.
27 Points...
Mr. Carr, I See You've Neglected
To Fill Out Your Place Of Residence.
Yes, Um... I-I Recently Moved,
And The Address Slipped My Memory.
You Know How That Can Be.
I Guess Not.
Our Insurance Policy Requires That The School Provide
Our Employees' Place Of Residence.
Of Course. Um...
7...
6...
2...
2.
7...
7.
Jefferson.
Thank You, Mr. Carr.
You're Welcome.
Thanks, Tom.
[Singing In Hebrew]
Happy Hanukkah. Give Me A Kiss.
Happy Hanukkah.
Uh, An Encyclopedia Cd.
This Is Just What I Wanted. Thanks.
You're Welcome, Even Though You Are Faking It.
Try This.
Wow! Dr. J.
How Did You Know I Sold It?
Julie Snitched.
Happy Hanukkah, Honey.
Mrs. Klein: Why Would Coach Carr Lie About His Address?
I Drove Up And Down Jefferson Today,
And 7627 Does Not Exist.
Yes. That Is Odd.
No, No, No.
Odd Is Wearing Socks That Don't Match.
Odd Is Pistachio Ice Cream.
I Like Pistachio.
Falsifying An Application Is A Serious Offense, Rabbi.
Yes, Yes. Well, Perhaps He Has A Good Reason.
Please Don't Straighten My Desk.
I Cannot Take Any Chances.
Not When The Safety Of My Students Is At Risk.
Yes, Yes. Well, Perhaps We Should Keep An Eye On Him.
That's Exactly What I Intend To Do.
Oh, Dear.
Brian, B-. Huh, Huh.
Jacob, A-. Hmmm. You Could Do Better.
Ha-Shem Answers Prayer, Alex,
But Sometimes, The Answer Is...
Next Time, Try Studying.
C-. Come, Come, Come.
We Have Another Serious Problem To Discuss.
Principal Klein Plans To Follow Coach Carr Home
After Basketball Practice Tonight.
And Should She Discover-- I'm Just Making This Up--
That He Lives In A Van...
I'm Not Sure I Could Overrule Her Objections To Him Working Here.
If He Lived In A Regular Apartment, That Would Be Ok, Right?
Would That Be Possible?
Cover My Back With Coach.
Da, Da, Da, Da, Da...
C-.
Dad...
Alex...
What're You Doing Home?
You're Still Having Trouble Selling The Bender Condo, Right?
The Last Serious Offer I Got,
I Was Riding My Pet Dinosaur.
Well, I-I Think I Have Someone Who Wants It.
Um, But He Doesn't Know It Yet.
And I'm Pretty Sure He Can't Afford It.
Great, Great. That's Exactly The Kind Of Client I Dream About.
[Car Horns Honking]
Alex, What's Going On?
What's This?
The Key To This Door.
Count To 5, Then Unlock It And Come In.
Hey, Uh... But, I...
One... 2...
Quiet!
3... 4...
5.
Oh!
Can't Afford It.
Well, You Can Stay Here For Free Until My Dad Sells It.
I Don't Take Hand-Outs.
Dad Says They Sell Better
If There's Someone Living In Them.
I Can't Even Afford The Utilities.
I'll Pay The First Month.
Excuse Me?
I'll Sell My Dr. J. Card.
Again.
I Told You...
I Don't Take Charity. End Of Discussion.
It's Not Charity. It's A Trade.
You Get An Apartment. I Get A Coach.
Hard To Argue With That.
It's Hard To Argue With Schlots, Period.
Ok, Ok. Um...
What Do You Say Alex Keeps His Card,
And Instead, I Finish The Place Up And Do Some Painting?
Mr. Carr, We've Got A Partnership.
All Right.
Yes!
Liberty Tournament, Here We Come.
Alex...
Marshall...
I Got Pizza!
C-.
It's Becoming Clear That Alex Can't Handle Both School And Basketball.
Do You Remember What Rabbi Kaplan Used To Say?
Sometimes A Blessed One Waits On Us,
And Sometimes We Would Do Well
To Wait On The Blessed One.
He Also Said The Blessed One
Looks With Favor On Those Who Act.
Dr. Schlotsky And I Are Prepared To Involve The Board Of Directors
If We Believe Academic Standards Are Being Sacrificed.
There's No Need For That.
If Things Don't Turn Around Soon,
I Promise I'll Intervene Personally.
With Your Patience, Rabbi, Our People Might Still Be Wandering The Desert.
Ha-Shem Works In Mysterious Ways.
Not Nearly So Much As A Rabbi
Scheming To Win Some Silly Basketball Tournament.
Sometimes, A Little Silliness Is Good For The Soul.
Here. Watch.
Bowl--The Bowl. Ready?
Woo, Woo, Woo.
Ohh!
Ahh.
Ah. I Insist That You Try. You Try.
I Insist.
The Bowl, The Bowl.
All Right.
Ahh!
Mrs. Klein! Mrs. Klein!
Yes!
Oh. I Have Work To Do.
Mmm.
Let's Hold It Down, Dogs, Let's Hold It Down.
Now, Whatever Happened Before, Is Behind Us. Understand?
Ben, What Do Dogs Do?
Barf On The Carpet.
Dogs Bark, Coach.
Thank You, T.J. Dogs Bark.
So, I'm Asking My Dogs Is This A New Team?
Ruff.
Woof.
Ruff.
Oh, Stop, Stop, Stop.
That's Pathetic.
Is This A Team? I Want A Bunch Of Bulldogs.
[Barking Like Dogs]
All Right. That's Better. Ok. Now...
Every Dog On This Team Does What's Best For The Team, Right?
[Barking Like Dogs]
And The Team Does What's Right For Every Dog. Let Me Hear It.
[Barking Like Dogs]
So, The Team Is Going To Ask Schlots To Sit This One Out, Right?
Because He's Failing History.
So, Until He Gets His Grades Up,
The Best Thing The Team Can Do For Him Is Do Without Him.
All Right, Guys, Let's Go.
Come On.
Come On, Dogs, Let's Go! Go!
Let's Get It On. All Right. Here We Go.
Let's Go!
Boy: Defense, Defense! Come On, Dogs, Let's Go!
Yes! Yo, Defense!
I'm The Only Who's Ever Cared About This Team.
I Found Lamont, And Now They're Playing Without Me.
Gee, They're Playing Great Even Though
You're Not There To Hog The Ball.
Imagine That.
Why Do You Even Bother To Show Up For My Games?
You Saying You Don't Want Me To Come?
Not If You're Just Going To Hassle Me.
Press! Press!
Julie, Come On! You Know I Didn't...
Mean It.
[Moans]
[Doorbell Rings]
Hey, Alex, You Home?
Schlots!
Hey, Alex, We Heard Rabbi Lewis
Say You Could Take A Do-Over On The Test.
Why Are You Guys Here?
Because We're A Team. If One Of Us Is In Trouble,
We Come Running To The Rescue.
I'm Just Going To Fail Again,
And All I Can Think About Is Basketball. I Can't Concentrate.
I Can't Remember Names And Dates And Stuff.
Impossible! You Know Every Player's Stats That We've Based All Season.
Well, I Guess I Just Think Better With A Ball In My Hand.
Well, Start Dribbling.
What?
You Dribble, We'll Feed You The Names And The Dates.
You Know, Like Stats.
Third Quarter, 20 Seconds On The Stop Watch.
Who's The Most Villainous Player?
Oh. King Antiochus.
Oh, Go. Take It, Stick. Go.
When Did The Maccabees Reclaim Their Temple?
You Know, Win Home Court Advantage?
B.C.E. 165.
All Right, Uh, What Time Of Year?
Tick, Tick, Tick...
Oh, Uh, Kislev 25,
3 Years After The Fighting Began.
[Cheering]
Schlots!
Do You Mind If I, Uh...
Dribble?
You Know, Like, An Imaginary Basketball?
Whatever It Takes.
[Blows Whistle]
Hey, Why Aren't We Waiting For Schlots?
Not Your Problem. Worry About Your Own Game.
Haven't You Noticed? We Don't Have A Game.
Without Alex, They Killed Us Yesterday.
What?
Circle Up, My Doubting Dogs.
It's Time You Get Game.
[Playing A Dribbling Beat]
Now, A Game Starts With Trust.
When Every Dog Trusts Himself Enough To Try--
Make A Shot, Snag A Pass--
Pretty Soon, You Start Trusting Each Other.
You Become A Team.
And When 5 Guys Are Playing Together As A Team,
Ooh, It's The Most Beautiful Thing.
Yeah! Because A Team Is Like A Body.
You Got The Feet Doing One Thing,
You Got The Arms Doing Another.
Ha Ha. But You Guys, Everything Is Alex.
"Alex, Alex. Coach, Where Is Alex?"
It's Like You Got A Head, But No Legs, No Arms,
No Knees, No Elbows, No Nothing.
That's All About To End Today.
And It Stops With You. Come On, T.J.
How Many Technicals You Got?
I'm Leading The League.
Then, You're Taking Yourself Out Of The Game.
So, Every Time You Get Mad At The Ref?
I Want You To Think Of The Sweetest Thing.
Sweetest Thing.
Yeah.
Rebekah Bloomberg.
Ooh! Rebekah Bloomberg. All Right.
Ha Ha.
So, Every Time From Now On,
When You Want To, You Know, Take The Stripes Off The Ref,
I Want You To Think Of Your Sweet Thing Rebekah Bloomberg.
That's Right. Ha Ha.
Here You Go. Stick Man...
You're The Arm.
I Want You To Think...
Hook....
Hook... Hook...
Hook.
Whoo!
Joker, Over Here.
You The Mouth.
Put It To Work. Trash Talk Your Man.
Make Him So Rattled That He Can't Even Stand.
You're So Slow, They Call You Molasses.
You're So Fat, You Need 2 Pair Of Glasses.
Oh!
Ha Ha Ha. Yes! Yes!
Hey, Coach, What Part Am I?
Let's See... Oh!
You The Butt, Baby.
The Butt?
You're The Best Rebounding Tool We've Got.
I Want You To Think Wrecking Ball. Think Bulldozer.
Why Can't I Just Think Rebekah Bloomberg?
'Cause You The Butt, Baby.
Come On. Knock Me Out Of The Key. Hit It, Hit It.
Oh!
All Right!
Whoo!
Yo!
There You Go!
Tuck It!
Yo! Sing Me The School Song.
♪ We Are The Lions... ♪
No, No, No.
That's The Old Song. I Want The New Song.
The Downtown Version.
It Goes, ♪ You Are The Lions ♪
♪ We Are The Lions ♪
♪ The Mighty, Mighty Lions ♪
♪ Mighty, Mighty Lions ♪
♪ Everywhere You Go ♪
♪ People Want To Know ♪
♪ Who We Are ♪
♪ So, You Tell Them ♪
♪ We Are The Lions ♪
♪ You Are The Lions ♪
♪ The Mighty, Mighty Lions ♪
♪ Mighty, Mighty Lions ♪
♪ Everywhere We Go, People Want To Know ♪
♪ Who You Are ♪
♪ So, We Tell Them ♪
♪ We Are The Lions ♪
♪ You Are The Lions... ♪
The Envelope, Please.
On The History Test That Mr. Schlotsky Took This Morning,
He Received...
A B+.
Congratulations.
Go Suit Up. Everybody.
We're Cutting Practice Short.
I've Got To Meet A Friend.
Boy: Really? You Have Friends?
[Carr Shouting Commands]
Oh! Very Pretty.
Yeah!
All Right, All Right.
All: One, 2, 3, 4,
5, 6, 7, 8.
O-Oh!
Go, Lions!
All Right. Bring It In, Men, Bring It In.
Ok, Ok. Yeah.
I Say My Dogs Are Good To Go.
But, Um, It Turns Out, You Going To Have To Go On Without Me.
What?
Yeah. Last Night, I Played A Pick-Up Game With An Nba Buddy.
He Talked To Some People, And This Morning,
The Sixers Called.
Their Back-Up Guard Went Down,
And They Want To Sign Me To A 10-Day Contract.
What's Up With All The Long Faces?
Thought My Dogs Would Be Happy For Me.
We Are, But What About Us?
Yeah. What About All The Stuff You Said
About Our Team Being A Whole Body?
Listen, Practice Hard, Play Hard,
Study Hard. Take Pride In Who You Are.
You'll Be Just Fine.
Ok, Guys, Great Practice.
Hit The Showers.
Alex: We Won't Do Fine. The Tournament's In 2 Days.
I Kept My Word.
Deal Was I Would Coach You Guys Until The Sixers Called,
And They Called.
Look, I Know Coaching A Bunch Of Kids Isn't The Nba...
Listen To Yourself.
You Want Me To Give Up On My Dreams So You Can Have Yours?
You Were Starting To Like Coaching.
I've Been Watching You.
Stop Being So Selfish, Schlots.
Think Of Somebody Besides Yourself For Once.
Why Don't You Start Thinking About Someone Besides Yourself?
What About Your Family? What About Them?
My Family Needs For Me To Get This Contract.
They Need Me To Pay The Bills.
Maybe They Just Need You.
Like We Do.
I'm A Hired Hand Here.
After The Tournament, Then What?
I'm Back On The Streets.
Look, I Owe You More Than I Can Say, Alex.
But This Is My Shot.
And I'm Going To Take It.
All Lamont Needs Is A Steady Job.
I'm Sorry. I Can't Recommend That The Academy Hire A Full-Time Coach.
Why Not?
Lots Of Reasons. Money, Priorities...
And You Think Basketball's A Waste Of Time.
No. I Think You're Wasting Opportunities.
You Have The Talent And The Resources To Do More, Alex.
To Be Whatever You Want.
Well, Basketball Is What I Want.
Why Can't You Accept That?
You Really Want To Be Like Lamont?
A Grown Man Who Abandoned His Family
To Chase After Some Adolescent Fantasy?
You Don't Know Anything About Lamont.
You Know Even Less About Me.
Rabbi Lewis: The Maccabees Fought Back, With The Odds Overwhelming.
The Darkness That Fell Over The Land Was A Spiritual Darkness.
And Evil Had Penetrated To The Soul.
The Temple Had Been Ransacked,
The Everlasting Lamp Extinguished.
Now, Light From The Everlasting Lamp
Would Give The People Comfort,
But There Was Only Enough Sacred Oil Left
For A Single Day.
Judah Must've Thought, "What's The Use?
"Why Light A Lamp For A Single Day,
When So Much More Is Needed To Give My People Hope."
[Bell Ringing]
Shalom.
Good-Bye.
Bye.
Something On Your Mind, Alex?
Besides The Yarmulke?
If The Maccabees Had Lost Judah,
They Would've Been Massacred, Right?
Perhaps People Need A Strong Leader.
Our Judah's Gone,
And So Is Any Chance Of Us Winning That Tournament.
Maybe Not.
You Mean Lamont Might Stay?
I Mean That Perhaps Judah's Courage And Leadership
Isn't Something We Should Be Searching For In Others,
But In Ourselves.
You're Saying I Could Be Judah?
Come On, I'm Just A Kid.
When Judah Was Asked By His Companions,
"How Can We, Few As We Are,
Fight Back Against So Great A Multitude?"
Judah's Reply Was, "It's Not The Size Of Our Army,
It Is The Strength Of Our Faith."
Announcer: Philadelphia Hebrew Academy
Welcomes 16 Teams.
Their Friends And Family,
For The 30th Annual Liberty Tournament!
[Cheering]
Yeah! Lions!
You Know That's Right.
Whoo!
Yeah!
All Right. 2 Games To The Finals, Dogs.
We Worked Hard To Get Here, And We Came Here To Win.
So, Let's Go Out There And Show Them Our Best, All Right?
Let's Go, Team! Come On!
Let's Go, Let's Go, Let's Go, Let's Go.
Go, Guys!
Excuse Me. Thank You.
Ah! Oh!
Hey!
All Right, My Dogs,
This Is Our Home Court.
Let Me Hear It!
Yeah.
Come On, Have I Got A Bunch Of Chihuahuas Here?
I Said Let Me Hear It!
All: Hoo Hoo Hoo Hoo Hoo!
There We Go.
All Right. Remember The Maccabees.
Defense Is Our Offense.
And Our Defense Starts With A Full Court...
All: Press!
All Right. Hands In. "Lions" On 3.
1, 2, 3.
All: Go, Lions!
Break!
Boys, Let's Go.
All Right, Let's Go! This Is It!
All Right. Here We Go, Guys.
Marshall: Rabbi.
Oh, Marshall.
Ok.
Boy: All Right, Guys.
[Whistle Blows]
All Right. Ready?
Alex: Nice, Stick.
Ok!
[Cheering]
Hey!
[Overlapping Yelling]
Good "D"!
[Crowd Booing]
Break!
Defense, Boys, Defense.
Boy: Throw It Here!
[Buzzer]
[Whistle Blows]
[Buzzer]
All: Go, Lions!
[Whistle Blows]
Yeah!
I Love You, Rebekah Bloomberg!
Alex: Press!
[Buzzer]
Boy: Come On. Get It, Get It!
Alex: Come On, Guys! Yes! Nice, Nice!
[Overlapping Yelling]
Uh!
[Buzzer]
Man: Time Expired!
I Saw That!
Alex Will Shoot 2 Free Throws!
Joker: All Right, Al. You Can Do This.
Stick: Come On, Schlots.
Hey, Schlots!
[Whispering] Shh! Be Quiet! Shh!
Yeah!
Boy: Do It!
[Scattered Cheers]
Cheerleaders: We Got Spirit. Yes, We Do.
Come On.
We Got Spirit. How About You?
[Cheering]
Yes!
We Did It! We Did It!
We Did It!
Yeah!
We're Going To The Finals!
[Overlapping Chatter]
[Telephone Ringing In Background]
Alex.
[Ring]
[Sighs]
Mom, I'm Proud Of You Being A Doctor.
Thank You.
How'd You Do?
[Sighs]
We Won.
We're In The Finals.
Congratulations.
Why Don't You Trust Me?
What Makes You Think I Don't?
You Can't Accept Me Being Anything But A Doctor.
Honey, I Just Want What's Best For You.
Look, Being A Doctor Is What's Best For You,
Maybe Not For Me.
Alex--
Look, I'm Not An Idiot, Ok?
I Know The Chances Of Me Playing Professional Ball Are Long--
Maybe Even Impossible--
But I Still Want You To Be Proud Of Me.
I Am.
At Your Bar Mitzvah,
You Took A Step Toward Becoming A Man.
But It Was Also A Step For Me--
A Step Toward...
Letting Go.
And That Can Be As Hard As Growing Up.
So Help Me To Understand.
What...What Does Basketball Mean To You?
Ok, It's Like This...
When I've Got The Ball In My Hand...
And I'm Heading Down The Court...
Everything Around Me Just Disappears.
Nothing Else Exists Except For Me And The Ball.
It's Like My Whole Entire Life
Is Just Wrapped Up In The One Moment,
One Pure Moment In Time
When It Seems Like The Ball
Just Flies Off My Hands
And Swishes Into The Net.
Woman On Tv: Severe Thunderstorms Are Expected
To Blanket The Philadelphia Area
Tomorrow Afternoon And Evening.
Gusts Up To 40 Miles An Hour Are Expected.
[Sighs]
Hey, Sweetie. How You Doing?
My Knees Are Killing Me.
[Sighs]
The Younger Guys Are Out-Jumping Me,
But, You Know, I Still Have Some Moves.
Yeah.
Look, Um...
The Reason I'm Calling Is...
I've Been Doing Some Hard Thinking.
And I've Got An Idea.
[Thunder]
[Chatter]
[Rapping]
♪ Dreidel, Dreidel ♪
♪ Do Over, Do Over ♪
Man: Yeah!
Man: Here We Go!
Yeah. Hats. Eugene, Eugene!
I Have Some Hats.
Pass Them Out, Pass Them Out Quickly.
Oh, Yes. The Maccabees, Huh?
Larry, Larry, I Want You To Wear One Of Our Hats.
Here, Rabbi. Take One Of These.
In Case You Get Too Far Behind,
You Can Surrender. Huh?
Oh, Thank You Very Much.
Wear Our Hat. I'm Sure You'll Look Good In It.
Oh, Here They Come!
Whoo! Whoo!
♪ Now, Playing Basketball Is My Favorite Sport ♪
♪ It Don't Matter If It's A Pickup Game Or On The Court ♪
♪ We Gonna Always Bring It To Ya, Huh ♪
♪ With Our First String ♪
♪ 1 On 1, 3 On 3 ♪
♪ Or You Can Bring Your Whole Team ♪
♪ Get Ready For The Pain In Your Aching Feet ♪
♪ And The Sound Of The Crowd When You Earn Defeat ♪
♪ Well, Nobody Had Your Back ♪
♪ Not Even The Guys On Your Team ♪
♪ Your Cheerleaders Gonna Be Screamin' ♪
♪ But They Screamin' For Me ♪
♪ 'Cause I'm The One Comin' Down ♪
♪ With The Full Court Miracle ♪
♪ And The Ones With The Game ♪
♪ 'Cause Then You're Blessed ♪
♪ You Don't Hear Me, Though ♪
♪ Remember One Thing That We All Know Is True ♪
♪ Miracles Can, Do, And Will Come Happen For You ♪
♪ Whoo Dreidel, Dreidel ♪
♪ Dreidel, Dreidel ♪
♪ I Made It Out Of Clay, I Made It Out Of Clay ♪
♪ Dreidel, Dreidel ♪
♪ A Dreidel I'm-A Play ♪
♪ Dreidel, Dreidel ♪
♪ Yes, I Surely Did, Oh, Yes, I Surely Did ♪
♪ Dreidel, Dreidel ♪
♪ It Drops And Then I Win ♪
♪ Dreidel, Dreidel ♪
♪ Full Court Miracle ♪
All Right, Huddle Up!
Huddle Up!
Man: Way To Go, Lions! Way To Go, Lions!
Hoo Hoo Hoo Hoo Hoo!
[Yelling]
Good. Hmm!
[Crowd Cheering]
I Am So Proud Of All Of You Guys. All Of You.
Hey, Thank You, Coach Simowitz.
Or Mister...
Ok. Carry On. Carry On.
Ok, Thank You.
All Right. Are My Dogs Ready?
All: Hoo Hoo Hoo Hoo Hoo Hoo Hoo!
Alex: This Is Our Doghouse Now.
All: Hoo Hoo Hoo Hoo Hoo Hoo Hoo!
Alex: We're Taking Off The Leash.
We're Going Man To Man,
With A Full Court...
All: Press!
All Right. Hands In. "Go, Lions" On 3.
All: 1, 2, 3!
Go, Lions!
All: Warriors!
Warriors, Go!
[Cheerleaders Chanting]
So You Made It To The Finals.
What A Surprise.
First Of Many, Tyler.
Alex: Go, Go!
Yes!
All Right! Nice!
Whoa!
Yes!
Oh, Yeah!
Ha Ha!
Boy: Defense!
Julie?
Thanks. You Know What?
We Can Finish This Up Tomorrow.
I'll Give You A Ride To The Game.
I Think We Should All Give Alex Another Chance.
Don't You?
Starting With Me.
Come. I'll Drop You Off At The School.
Aren't You Going To Watch Alex Play?
There's Something I Have To Take Care Of First.
[Overlapping Yelling]
Alex: All Right, This Is It!
Stick 'Em, Stick 'Em!
On The Ball!
Go!
[Overlapping Yelling]
That's Ok.
The Ball's Out! The Ball's Out!
Go! Go!
Come On!
Ok, Go!
Yeah.
[Overlapping Yelling]
Oh, Hi!
Mrs. Klein.
[Overlapping Yelling]
Rebound!
Yeah!
[Overlapping Yelling]
Defense! Come On!
Nice!
Put It Up, Stick.
Yeah!
Oh, Yeah!
Yes!
Yay! Yes! Yes!
Crowd: Defense!
Defense!
[Thunder]
[Chatter]
Man: What's Your Name?
[Car Door Opens]
Boy: Thanks.
Girl: Would You Sign This, Please?
Excuse Me.
I'm Looking For A Lamont Carr.
Lamont? Good Guy. We Just Played Him.
You Check Inside?
How Tall Are You?
6'9".
What Would You Say To Someone
Who Was 14 Years Old, 5 Feet Tall,
And Wants To Be In The Nba?
I'd Say Sign That Boy Up.
He's A Big Dreamer.
Can I Get An Autograph For My Son?
[Overlapping Yelling]
Motion 5!
All Right! Let's Go, Let's Go!
Way To Play!
[Thunder]
[Electrical Surge]
Let It Go, Teej!
Larry: Come On, Boys! Bring It Back Up!
We've Only Got--
Alex: What?
[Thunder]
Boy: What's Going On With The Lights?
Alex: Guys.
[Yelling]
Eugene?
[Thunder]
Mr. Carr.
What Happened?
I Don't Know.
It Won't Start.
I Have To Get To The Airport.
It's Got Juice.
I Had This Thing Totally Rebuilt.
It Doesn't Make Sense.
[Thunder]
Maybe It Does.
Try It Again.
Why? Nothing's Changed.
Just Try It, Please.
[Thunder]
[Engine Starts]
[Hood Closes]
I Don't Get It.
[Electrical Surge]
[Thunder]
I Think I'm Beginning To.
[Thunder]
I, Uh...I Called The Electrical Company
And Because Of The Storm,
We Won't Have Power Till Morning.
So That Means We Either--
We End The Game Now. Right? Your Team Wins.
Yes!
No.
Or--Or We Start The Emergency Generator
And We Play Until The Fuel Runs Out.
How Much Time Is That?
Eugene!
Huh?
How Much Time?
I Teach Algebra.
Here.
Not Too Long. Look.
What?
The Fuel's Almost Out Now.
Ha Ha Ha!
Ow!
Larry: Let Me Get Something Straight.
No Matter Who's Ahead--
No Matter If There's Still Time Left On The Clock--
Yeah.
When The Generator's Stops, The Game Stops.
Yeah. Yeah.
Hey, Hey. We Get It.
Just Establishing The Rules, Son.
Yeah.
Warriors! Let's Go!
Boy: We're Playing. All Right?
Second Boy: Come On. Let's Go.
One More Quarter. Let's Go, Guys.
Boy: 18 Points Behind And Hardly Any Fuel.
We Definitely Need A Miracle.
Whoo!
Yes! Yes!
Do You Hear Me?
All Right, Boys. Get In There.
Get In There! All Right!
Come On, Boys!
Come On, Everybody!
Let's Go!
Let's Go, Lions!
Yes!
All: Let's Go, Lions!
[Rumbling]
Mr. Simowitz?
You Take It From Here!
Did I Mention That I Teach Algebra?
[Cheering]
Go. Let's Go.
15 Minutes? The Fuel Will Run Out Way Before Then.
We Better Work Fast Then.
[Whistle Blows]
All Right, Team! Come On, Guys!
[Overlapping Yelling]
Get It! Get It!
[Cheering]
[Overlapping Yelling]
Yes! Did You See That?
Yeah!
Boy: Stay On Him!
Yeah!
Bring Him Around, Bring Him Around.
Go, Joker! Go! Go!
Yes!
All Right. Stay On Him, Stay On Him.
Ball! Ball!
All Right! Go, Go, Go!
Go! It's On You!
Yes!
No! No!
[Overlapping Yelling]
Go, Go, Go!
Stay On Him! Hands Up!
Go! Yes! Ok!
Pass It Right Here.
Time-Out! Time-Out!
Alex: Time-Out!
Boy: Time, Alex.
Simowitz: Good, Good, Quick.
Lions, Here. Huddle, Huddle. Quickly, Quickly.
Huddle. Over Here.
Quickly.
Uh--Uh, I've Got The Answer--
The Whole Fuel Flow Generator Thing.
I Figured Out Exactly How Long It'll Keep Running.
You Did?
Yes.
It Was Simple Calculus, You See.
I Measured The Rate Of Flow
And Then The Voltage In The Tube.
Oh, The Octane Rating And The R.P.M.S. Genius.
Can You Show Me?
Later. Mr. Simowitz, How Long Do We Have?
Simowitz: Oh. Yes. Well, The Generator Will Run Out Of Fuel
In Exactly--Oy-- 2 Minutes And 45 Seconds.
Well, 44 Seconds.
Well, 43 Now, Because It Keeps On Every--
Let's Go. Come On.
[Whistle Blows]
Alex: Ok. Let's Go, Let's Go, Let's Go! Hustle!
Time.
The Time.
Boy: Defense!
Time-Out!
[Whistle Blows]
Tyler, What Are You Doing?
Ok. Come Here, Guys.
[Popping]
We Had 'Em. We Were Coming So Hard.
We Had 'Em.
I Don't Get It. Why'd They Call A Time-Out?
We Just Had A Time-Out.
They're Stalling. They Want The Generator To Run Out Of Fuel.
They're Ahead, They Win.
Boy: Can They Do That?
Second Boy: That's Not Fair. We Were Catching Them.
Can They Do That?
They Can't Do That!
Boy: They Just Did, Man.
Got 5 Minutes Left On The Game Clock.
Lions. One Minute. One. One Minute.
One Minute Of Fuel.
[Scattered Yelling From Crowd]
[Alex Sighs]
So Much For The Miracle.
47 Seconds.
46.
45.
I Got To...
42, 41, 40.
38,
37.
That's All? Hmm?
[Thunder]
What's Up With My Dogs?
Schlots.
Hey, Guys.
All Right.
What's The Long Faces For?
They Beat Us.
Pardon Me?
They Took A Time-Out, They Ran Down The Clock,
And They Beat Us.
I See 5 Minutes Left On That Clock.
Yeah. Well, There's Less Than A Minute Of Fuel Left In The Generator.
Says Who?
Who Cares? The Fuel Runs Out,
The Game's Over. We Lose.
Oh. Oh, I See.
I See. So, I Guess That Whole Story
About The Maccabees Was Made Up Then, Huh?
How About That Part About The Light
In The Temple That Was Burning For 8 Days?
I Guess That Was Just Made Up, Too.
Come On, Ok, We're A Little Too Old For Fairy Tales.
We're Done.
20 Seconds! 19...
18...
17...
Are You Done?
Boy: Yeah!
[Laughter]
Tyler: Give It Up, Schlots.
In Your Dreams, Tyler.
10 Seconds.
9,
8,
Warriors: 7, 6,
5, 4, 3...
2...
1.
[Engine Cutting Off]
[Thunder]
Yeah!
We Win It!
Whoo-Hoo!
[Thunder]
Yes!
Ha Ha!
Boy: Yes! Ha Ha!
Whoo-Hoo!
Yeah!
[Crowd Cheering]
Let's Go, Dogs! Get Out There!
Come On!
Go!
This Is Our Time!
Right Now!
Aah!
[Yelling]
Ohh!
Lamont: There You Go! There You Go!
[Overlapping Yelling]
Alex: Ok! All Right!
Hoo Hoo Hoo Hoo Hoo!
[Overlapping Yelling]
Boy: Defense! Defense!
[Overlapping Yelling]
[Cheering]
Alex: All Right, Guys. This Is It.
Quick. T.J.! T.J.!
[Cheering]
[Electrical Surges]
Shake Some Booty!
[Overlapping Yelling]
All Right.
Man: Hustle! Hustle!
Lamont: Go Down! Go Down! Set It Up!
Come On!
[Overlapping Yelling]
That's All Right. Don't Worry About It.
Man: Hustle! Hustle!
[Overlapping Yelling]
Yes!
All Right!
[Whirring]
[Yelling]
Boy: Come On! Come On!
Yeah!
You Can Do It!
Marshall: Come On, Alex!
Lamont: Come Down.
[Surging]
[Basketball Bouncing]
Alex: All Right!
[Surging]
Seconds Left, Boys! Come On!
[Overlapping Yelling]
Watch The Clock!
Alex, Watch The Clock!
Coach: You Got 'Em!
Knock Them Down!
Come On, Alex.
Man: Shoot!
Come On. We Have No Time Left.
[Yelling]
Shoot!
[Overlapping Yelling]
No!
Yeah!
Boy: Nice Shot!
[Overlapping Yelling]
We Just Won!
[Laughing]
Yes! Yes! Yes!
[Cheering]
We're The Champions! We're The Champions!
[Cheering]
Congratulations.
I Made It! You Won!
Man: Hoo Hoo Hoo Hoo!
Boy: Yes! Ha Ha!
Hoo Hoo Hoo Hoo Hoo Hoo Hoo!
Yeah!
[Thunder]
Look, Baby, Number One.
Yay!
[Overlapping Chatter]
Aw, You Were Fantastic!
Thank You, Doctor.
You're Welcome.
My Van Stalled On The Way To The Airport.
Your Mom Agreed To Meet The Plane
So I Can Bail You Sorry Dogs Out.
The Plane? Whose Plane?
Boy: Daddy!
Thanks, Mom.
Cynthia: You Are Welcome.
But You Know What,
I Still Say Education Is Important.
I Still See A Doctor In Your Future.
Aw. Maybe It's A Doctor J.
Marshall: All Right!
Cynthia: Of Course, That's Only If I Can Convince Rabbi Lewis
To Hire Lamont As A Full-Time Coach.
You'd Do That?
We Got To Keep This Mojo Thing Going, Right?
Well, What About The Sixers?
Well, Sometimes You Got To Listen To Your New Dreams,
Bad Knees, And My Little Boy Who Needs His Dad.
[Singing In Hebrew]
Rabbi Lewis: And So Each Year,
When The Days Grow Short
And Night Threatens To Overwhelm,
We Light The Menorah
To Remember The Courage Of The Maccabees--
But Even More,
To Celebrate The Light
That Miraculously Burned For 8 Days--
The Light That Continues To Deliver Us From Darkness,
To Illuminate Our Dreams,
To Turn Strangers Into Friends
And To Shine As A Beacon Of Hope
To All The World.
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